Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
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