but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
