dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize