I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
