You made me cry and you don't even care
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
high people should be assigned attendants
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
