You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
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