But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
