Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
