maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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