no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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