Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
this is an emotional support booty call
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Randomize
