just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Randomize
