She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize
