5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
