You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize