So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
