And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
