she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Also, beer. Big fan.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
