Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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