If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize