Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
