I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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