My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
