i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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