I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
