I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
ttyl tear gas
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
