FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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