The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
We're too hungover to prance.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
