Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
