Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
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