The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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