Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
