that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
