Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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