she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Randomize
