im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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