I just made out with a guy for $7.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
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