So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
We need to get me chipped asap
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Randomize
