As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
