butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
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