I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
