Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
