She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
where does the pee come out of this thing
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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