Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
