she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
