Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize