I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
