God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
