Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
