I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Randomize
