how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Damn victory sex feels great
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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