I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
