never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize