She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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