The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My liver just had a heart attack.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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