I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
