So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Randomize
