I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
