Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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