my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
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