Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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